Funny Bone

I can't remember the last time I cried because I hurt myself, but today it happened. (I wonder if I'm catching being a baby from hanging out with a baby?) I smacked my elbow SO HARD on the hall closet door this morning, I started crying. I couldn't believe it. The Husband was laughing, and I just wanted to smack him. It was NOT funny. But then I started laughing uncontrollably. It still hurts and I'm pretty sure there's probably permanent nerve damage.

NLJ

My Top 6

Things I don't like when The Husband is out of town, in no particular order:

1. The Killer coming to get me.
2. Shoveling the snow.
3. Taking The Boy TO and FROM school.
4. Sleeping alone.
5. Him NOT calling after it was HIS IDEA to call to check in while he's away. I've always said to call when you arrive, and to call when you leave. HE SAID he'd call to check in because he knows I worry, and its just smart to check in.
6. Watching the news because I think they'll say he's dead at the bottom of the lake. Because he didn't call.

He finally just called. He's fine. He forgot. Oh yeah, I forgot not to give him an ear full. Good news: Got his limit! FISH FRY AT MY HOUSE!

NLJ

I Heart Gravy

I cleaned out the fridge yesterday of all the left over Thanksgiving food. Well, after I finished off my sworn enemy - stuffing. I tossed the turkey, the cranberries, the potatoes, the bread, the sweet potatoes, the beans, but I'm clinging to the gravy. I took it out of the fridge, put it on the counter, and there is stayed. I just can't bring myself to get rid of it. Its the most yummy, luscious, flavorful gravy in the universe. What if I need it? What if I suddenly need gravy on my spaghetti tonight? Or on my egg in the morning? Or on my salad at lunch? It could happen. I think I'll just pour it in a glass and drink it.

NLJ

I'm Bubblin'

So where are we at? Do you guys like all the Christmas stuff making its appearance so early, even before Halloween? Or are you like me and loving it and reveling in it? I have a "Holiday Spice" candle burning away today, smelling up the house all yummy...like I'm baking or something. KOOL 108 is playing non-stop Christmas music. Yesterday I conquered 75% of my shopping list. I'm all a bubble with the spirit of the season.

NLJ

There's Just No Time For It

Why is it when I really don't have time to have a lot of meetings, (ie: this week because we're heading out on vacation on Thursday), I'm completely booked all week. The last few weeks, let's just say, I've been "not booked". But turns out, I (by that I mean one of the designers I work for) landed a big job and looks like I'm booked through the end of the year. I'm mean, Heaven forbid I don't get that pedicure before we head off to warmer weather. Priorities people!

NLJ

Let It Go

You know you have control issues, or you're really anal when coloring with your two year old, and it makes you crazy when he colors pictures out of order in the book. Or when he starts his scribbling on the picture of the sea horse that you just finished coloring oh so perfectly. I just take a deep breath, and say let it go, let it go, and try not to raise a freak like yourself.

NLJ

For The Good Of All

Is it bad that I spent a good part of the morning training my two year old how to wear headphones? I ran around pretending to be all jazzed out about the new portable DVD player I bought for him for our airplane trip next week. I made it sound all cool and special and awesome as possible. He finally dug it, and watched a whole movie. I was feeling guilty about it, so we did a mini art project afterwards. There's something weird about it, but I do it for you my fellow airline passengers. I'll pop that horsie racing movie in, and we won't hear from him again until we land. Bliss.

NLJ

I Guess I Don't Need New Earrings

I have this pair of earring that I wear every single day of my life. You know the ones, those little silver hoops that my daddy gave me a few years ago. Well, the other night I was going to bed and taking off my jewelry and notice one earring missing. Whenever this happens, I get a knot in my tummy. I remember having them earlier in the night while sitting on the sofa, and hadn't done much since then, so that's where I looked. It wasn't there. I ignored the stomach pains and didn't look for the earring again until the next day. I thought, hmmm, the only time I really left the couch was when I put The Boy to bed, so I thought maybe its in his room. Thinking maybe it fell off as I put him in his crib...as I leaned over...maybe.....THERE IT WAS! Its a Christmas miracle.

NLJ

Be a Part Of It

I feel like going to the bar today. If I was childless, I would spend the day at the bar watching all the results come in. There's just something about the camaraderie you feel when you're with a bunch of people, whether you're watching election results or the Twins winning a ball game. Everyone cheers at the same time, you make friends with the guys at the table next you, and you over tip the bartender because you're in a good mood and he snuck ya a free drink or two. I guess in this case you need to make sure other people voted the same way you did, but I imagine there's at least ONE person in that bar that feels the same way you do. Today's a big deal. History will be made either way. Get out there and enjoy it. Say you were there. Make a new friend or two. Have a story to tell your grand kids.

NLJ

Pumpkin Turmoil

OK kids, need your help again. This year was the first year I carved my own pumpkin. Yes, I've done it before, like with my mom and stuff. But now I have one, and I own it, and I'm in charge of it, and I don't know what to do with it. Do you just throw it in the garbage? Should I put it in a bag? Can I throw it in the mini-forest in my backyard and let the squirrels, bunnies, and occasional deer have a little treat? Should I cut it up and serve it for dinner? What?

NLJ

Trying To Be Super Mom

I made Halloween cookies for The Boy's school. I was just going to whip them up quick and then get on with the rest of my day. You see, since I'm a mom now, I pride myself on always having the ingredients on hand to make cookies at the drop of a hat. You just never know when a cookie emergency might arise. Well, seems I didn't have cream cheese for these fancy things. And then I didn't have Cream of Tartar (what is that, tartar sauce?) for the icing. So I was off to the grocery store. I also picked up black food coloring, but didn't find orange. Nor did I find black or orange sugar. What? Its Halloween! Stock up people!

Now its noon, and I fully read the recipe. I see that the dough needs to sit in the fridge for at least 3 hours before using. Fine. Then I make the icing and color one batch orange and one batch black. The orange is a pale, "sunset" color. Not the dark pumpkin color I wanted. Fine. And the black is to be mixed into chocolate frosting, not the beautiful white royal icing I made. So I ended up with dark grey. Fine.

Now its 4:30. I finally got the cookies baked (some darker than others,) and decorated (some better than others), and then proceeded to smear the decorations while packing them in the box. The point is, long story longer, it took ALL DAY and they still didn't turn out at perfectly as I wanted. The good new is, I made them for kids ranging in age of 3 months - 3 1/2 years. They're just going to shove them in their mouth, not care that some are burned, that the black cat's eyes have run together, and that I smeared the windows on the haunted house.

NLJ

Learning a New Sport

I just learned that in hockey, when there's an injured player, they don't tell you the exact injury. They only say whether or not its an upper body injury or a lower body injury. I thought that was interesting and I thought you might like to know. Or not.

NLJ

Just When You Think You Have Them Figured Out

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. I let The Boy forgo nap time because he's kind of nasty when its nap time these days, and I figure if he's sitting quietly, watching a movie, at least he's resting. Then I noticed some of the other kids in the neighborhood were outside playing, and I thought it would be fun for him. So, they played for over and hour before everybody went inside. When we came in the house, I asked Henry if he wanted to have quiet time on the sofa, and he said he wanted his own bed. "Can I have my own bed? Pleeeeease?" Um, OK. So I took him upstairs and asked him if he wanted to nap in his own bed, and he said yes. And then he did, and then all was right with the world.

NLJ

Can YOU Help ME?

Advice please! I've been trying to step my wardrobe up a bit, just a bit. I'm trying to find casual clothes that aren't too casual, yet aren't too "worky" because I don't like work clothes anymore. Anyway, during the summer I was able to get away with a navy pair and white pair of Keds, along with a few sandals here and there. So now its getting to be winter and I want some new shoes...bad. I thought I'd head on over to the shoe store but I realized I haven't a clue what I want or even what all you fashionistas are wearing these days. Can you help me with a few ideas? Somethings that are cute with jeans, and not too high in the heal. I've decided to forgo the heals anymore. The old dogs just can't handle much anymore. Thank you in advance.

NLJ

Rooster Tail

I've never noticed it before, in all my 36 years, but I have a major, weird, and newly obnoxious cowlick on the back of my head. I got my hair cut two weeks ago, and I was telling my stylist how I would like her to cut my hair to give me a bit more body at the crown. It always goes flat right there, and I figured it had something to do with the 600 lbs of hair I have. But she informed me I have an "oddly" low cowlick on the back of my head. Apparently from what she told me, (BTW - thanks for something else to be self conscious about) most people's "swirl" is at the crown, and mine is on the back of my head. But, she said, she could make short layers so there would be a bit more body back there and not suck to my head. So now, like never before, my hair sticks up like a goofy, seven years old boy's hair right when he wakes up and goes to school without showering and his backpack is half hanging off with his shoes untied.

NLJ

Busy Busy Busy

I have been slow with work the last few days, no biggie. I've been cleaning the house, running errands I've been putting off, cooking, and dealing with this cold. So of course today when I need to go shopping, do laundry, take care of The Boy, and pack for our trip this weekend...all of my crazy designers have checked in and need something. So today has turned into the mad dash day. When it rains it pours. Feast or famine. All of it.

NLJ

Hock A Loogie

How does a person go to bed at 1o o'clock at night, feeling just fine, and perfectly healthy. Then midnight rolls around and she's awoken with a sore throat, headache, and chest filled with MUCUS?! I can believe how fast it can move in. So today doing a steady dose of Musinex, a.k.a. Miracle Drug.

NLJ

Puts Hair On Your Chest

Yesterday was the first day I wore socks since April. Not gym socks, but dressy socks. Well, they're not dressy, they're just black. I guess they're not even really black because they're faded, but WHATEVER. It always feels weird on my feet to wear socks and jeans after so long. The Husband put jeans on for the first time this weekend and he couldn't stop talking about how crazy and comfy it was. Personally I like to wear shorts as long into the season as I can. Especially on crispy, cool fall days. It gets my blood pumpin' and makes me feel ALIVE!

NLJ

Completely Delusional

There is nothing cuter than the little 5 year old boy who lives next door when he's running to the bus stop in the mornings. This morning he's running down the street with his stocking hat on, coat unzipped and half off flopping all over. He runs for a bit, then get distracted by the man hole, oh, what is that a leaf? A leaf! Amazing! I look over at his house and his back pack is still sitting in his driveway. I have a minor panic attack that he's forgetting it, but here comes his big brother. He picked it up to help the little guy out. It just warms my heart, but at the same time I'm so thankful The Boy will never grow up to be that big and leave me. Whew!

NLJ

Don't Judge Me

I just got done watching a movie with The Boy. It was called Racing Stripes. It was one of those movies with real animals but they all talked. Even a couple of flies talked. The voices were pretty respectable including Dustin Hoffman as the pony, Whoopie as the goat, and Jeff Foxworthy as the rooster. Pretty typical horse racing movie...zebra wants to be a race horse...everyone doubts him....he works hard....he wins the "big race" and gets the little philly. Then the strangest thing happened. The 36 year old in the room is bawling.

NLJ

True Art

I would probably be fired from my former job if they ever heard me say this: I am OK with the fact that the centerpiece on my coffee table is The Boy's firetruck. Its true. That's just where I am right now. I was cleaning the house the other day, and picking up the majority of toys and books and trying to organize everything to make it look somewhat like adults live here too. I got to the table and there's the firetruck. Its always on the table because he likes to kneel up to it and put his hand in it to pretend to drive it, and he talks to himself about what he's doing, and its so flippin' cute you just wanna eat him. So yeah, maybe its not some great object de arte, but it makes me smile whenever I see it.

NLJ

There's Always Next Year

I'm a little depressed. I say "little" only because last night I was really depressed. I feel the same way every year when baseball is over. Maybe a little more this year because we were SO close to going to the post season, and missed it by one run. The season goes on for 162 games, and for us this year it was 163. But then it ends. It just stops, and its over, and it feels so abrupt. Its strange. I keep trying to remember how I dealt with it last year, or the year before that. Life goes on, the sun comes up, the economy slides, and we all look forward to February when pitchers and catchers report to spring training.

NLJ

Suggestion From a Non-wine Snob

These days I would consider myself more of a wine drinker, than my sorted past of beer drinking. That being said, I am not capable of wine snobbery. I don't have the palette for it. But the other night, my dear friend brought over a bottle of wine that I wanted to tell you about. Its called Line 39 Lake County Cabernet Sauvignon. Here's what the label looks like so you can also enjoy its yumminess. Like I said, I don't really know the difference between "oaky" undertones and a "fruity" presence, but I know I don't like sweet wine. This cab has the best flavor, like nothing I've tasted before, and I kid you not, it leaves you with the most wonderful "vanilla" flavor at the end of your sip. Its like candy....but not sweet. See...I can't describe it, but you must, must, must buy a bottle and see what I mean. Its borderline life changing.

NLJ

Lazy Days of Fall

As much as I really hate fall, I mean I do, I just really hate it, I can't wait to stop mowing and stop watering the plants. OK, who am I kidding...my plants are D.E.D. - dead. Its embarrassing really. My plants on the front of the house have completely kicked the bucket, but the ones behind the house are good....except for the cucumbers. We're SO over cucumbers, tomatoes, and grape tomatoes around here. I guess I'll run over to the farmer's market and grab some mums for the front yard and call it a day. Just wait until April rolls around and I'm going to be itching for cucumber salad like a crazy person.

NLJ

Gag Me With a Spoon

I don't know what exciting things have happened to you today, but I got barfed on. Yep, first thing on an above average Friday, I wake up and BAM! Barf. The Boy and I were hanging out in bed watching the Today Show, per usual. He grabs his sippy cup of milk and SLAMMED it. Ten seconds later there's curdled milk all over me and Blankie. TGIF like no other.

NLJ

We Got a Bleeder

Last week after I shaved my legs, put lotion on, got dressed and went to put my shoes on, I noticed I cut myself shaving and there was blood running down and now smeared all over my leg, and on my shorts. Today, same thing. How does this happen? Do I not have feeling in my legs? Is there a term for these phantom bleeders? You know, like how you call it a "white glover" when you go to wipe after a #2, and there's nothing on the paper.

NLJ

Days Of Yore

I promise every post will not be sports related, (or maybe it will, seems I do think about it a lot) but did you see the Twins game last night? Now that was a fun game. Home runs, RBI, and stolen bases as far as the eye could see. There's just nothing better than baseball in September, unless you're lucky enough to have your team playing baseball in October.

The Husband and I were reminiscing about the days before The Boy, and how we surely would've been at Old Chicago eating Double Deckeroni pizza that night for dinner. We always went there to watch the final Twins' games. We would pray and pray to get off work early or take a day off during playoff games. We'd hit that bar at 1 in the afternoon, and stay all night, and would've made a whole new group of pals. Ahhhh, those were the days. Instead I made spaghetti and salad. No garlic bread because we're "watchin' it" because we want to live long enough to see The Boy graduate from college. Priorities. Hhmmppff.

NLJ

My Fantasy

I need to find a new direction on what this blog is about. Work is slow now, I don't have anything to share. Its really boring for you to read about, and even worse for me to write about. So, I think I'll take a new direction on my writing, and I'm just going to write about topics o' the day. These topics, I promise, will not be life changing, earth rattling, or the like. But its just what I got goin' on, today.

I'm the commissioner (well, co-commissioner) of my fantasy football league. I don't know enough about the players to be full on, but I know every one's email address, so that gives me my "co". Last year I won, I mean I killed. This year I suckety, suck, suck, suck. Its hard to go from first to worst. I finally won this week after losing two weeks in a row. The husband has told me that I need to chill out, and reminds me its only "fantasy football," and that it shouldn't wreck my day. I'm a 36 year old competitive girl, that's not a pro athlete, and the husband won't play games with me because I tend to be a poor sport. It does wreck my day, in fact my whole Sunday and Monday. This is my outlet. My name is Nicki, and I'm a fantasy football addict.

NLJ

The Fun's Over

Summer is unofficially over. If anyone even checks this blog anymore, I'd be shocked. I took the summer off. I worked...a little. There were trips to plan, sun to be enjoyed, and lunches with pals to be taken. Its time to buckle down again, as the weather has already turned a bit cooler. Long pants and socks are back in the wardrobe, and the air conditioner has been shut off. I know everyone loves the fall, the colors, and weather....but it depresses me. It may, in fact, be my least favorite season. The dread of winter that it brings, is usually worse than the winter itself.

So I started hitting it hard again this week. I did a job for a new designer. Turned it around in 2 days, and she's happy, and already has another project lined up. With another designer we're starting a country club. I sent the project out for bid this week to a few contractors. And the designer in Dallas shoots me emails here and there, but nothing too much. We'll see what happens after the country club is done, I might try to throw one more designer in the mix. Heaven forbid.

NLJ

More From the Lone Star State

OK - so this is kinda interesting, and just another facet of the business that I never thought about. This new designer actually lives in Dallas, TX. (I know!) She does most of here work here, how ever that works, I'm not sure. We talked today to figure out how we could make it work, and God bless the internet, email, and computers. She's going to email me a "to do" list as she compiles work. This will include estimates, invoices, checking on orders, drafting, etc... I will do the work, and email it all right back to her, where she can print everything off on her letterhead and no one's the wiser that the work is being done here in little ol' Maple Grove. She seems nice, referred from a friend of mine, and she has a little boy too, so she understand the hours I'd like to keep (or the lack there of.) She's not coming back to MN until July, but we'll meet then, and hopefully have already done a bunch of work for her by that time. Maybe I'll even buy her lunch!

NLJ

Good News, Maybe

Someone called! They called! And just in time.....I almost, heaven forbid, volunteered! Hopefully I'm not cursing this by talking too soon. She actually called while I was in the shower, and when I returned her call I got her voicemail. But she CALLED! I'll let you know what happens...stay tuned.

NLJ

Getting Desperate

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I think I need to start doing that dreaded deed of all, and that's volunteer. I don't mean at the Children's Hospital or for any other of the local charities I actually care about. Those wouldn't be so difficult for me. But I think I need to start volunteering at ASID events, which includes things like the Showcase House and various Home and Garden shows. Gaahhh. I just hate working at these things, and schmoozing, and networking. But things are slow here at the Paperwork. (Thankfully The Husband has hired me on at his company, doing paperwork, so I have a few things keeping me busy.)

Its been brought to my attention, that people are still out there talking about me and asking about me, but no one is calling. People talk about how busy they are at these ASID meetings, and my friends are there telling them all to call me. No one does. Then at the next meeting, the same designers are talking about how they could really use some help, and my friends remind them of me, and they say "oh yeah, I need to call her." Then at the next meeting....well, you get my drift.

NLJ

Mistake #1

Well it happened, we all knew it would. As much as I like to think I'm perfect, and I double check my work, I made a mistake. The good news is nothing has been ordered yet, so the client doesn't technically have to order the draperies that I screw up the pricing on. But in the design world, an ethical designer will honor his or her price and have to eat the rest. In this case there's no eating, just not making enough on the markup.

I called my designer at 3pm yesterday to tell her the bad news, and left her a message giving her some of the details. She still hadn't called back after dinner so I called and left another message. During this time I was going through intervals of shaking, nausea, trying to tell myself that its all cool, that its no biggie. Then she kept not calling, so I am thinking she's mad at me, and I'm fired for sure, and my whole business will collapse. Surprisingly I was able to put it aside and get a good nights sleep, but there it was staring me in the face at 6:30 this morning. Again with the shaking, and tummy ache, and a great amount of dread. Believe it or not, I decided to workout to try to forget. Of course she called right at the end when I'm so out of breath I can't talk, but I answered anyway. She was super sweet, and said not to worry, and that shit happens. And she said she knows I probably lost sleep over it, but not to worry. I didn't lose sleep, but there definitely was suffering.

Another lesson learned, quadruple check EVERYTHING, especially that big stuff.

NLJ

Another Year Older

Another year older. This was not a milestone year, but looking from the outside in, seems to be a much larger number this year, and considerably closer to my first "over the hill" party. Birthdays don't bother me typically, I embrace them and am proud of my age. But this one has definitely caught my attention, that's for sure. Now I'm old enough to remember when my parent were this age. See, that's what I mean. That's just weird, because I still don't see myself as an adult or parent, and should not be entrusted with the responsibilities that come with adulthood. It just doesn't seem like I'm old enough.

Anyway, work has slowed quite a bit. I need to drum up some business this week. So, what's the plan of action you ask.....good question. I think I'll send out some of my letters that explain me and what I do to perspective designers, and then maybe go hang out at IMS just to show my face. Beyond that, I'm a bit at a loss. I'm still feeling the after effects of my birthday this Monday morning.....not quite motivated. It'd be so much easier if someone would just call me! Come on!

NLJ

Home Improvement?

One more story to tell you for this week. Remember how I said I'm going to be doing some "sprucing up" around the house this week in preparation for my birthday? Boy have I opened a can of beans. More like a can of spackle. Who knew just switching out the towel bar and toilet paper holder in a bathroom could be so difficult? The screws were stripped on the originals, so I had to pull them out of the wall, along with a huge chunk of drywall. I've been spackling and sanding for two days now, and still haven't even started to hang the new hardware.

The other project that is really getting my goat is a little art project (sort of) for my bedroom. Have you ever heard of Uppercase Living? Its one of those companies that has parties at people's houses and you go and buy stuff. Typically one of my worst nightmares, but I actually liked a few of the things they had. Luckily I was saved by a snow storm so I didn't have to go to the party, I just ordered. I bought three flower pictures, and they are transfers or decals and you stick them to the wall essentially by rubbing a credit card over them. Someone had the idea to put them on canvases so you can take them with you when you move. Great idea! So I went to the store to get 18" canvases, they only have two and I need three. So the next day I go to the Coon Rapids store and they have one. I buy it and head back to The Grove to get the other two. When I grab them I notice they're two different brands. No biggie. I go home and start rubbing that credit card like a crazy person, and it all goes well until I hit the off brand canvas. It won't stick. Gah. So head to Minnetonka. No canvases. The next day to Edina. No canvases. They get a truck load every Thursday but they don't know what's on it. So I'll check again on Friday, if there are no canvases.....pray for the gals at Joann Fabrics and don't make me check the Woodbury store.

NLJ

Good Food and Great Parking

The Husband and I went out on the town on Saturday night, and actually let The Boy stay at my brothers...over night. I know. I had high hopes. We were invited to a wedding, and thought we'd make a night of it, baby free. The wedding was beautiful, we somehow got a parking spot in the front row, which was great because my feet were already throbbing. (We aren't really into high heels at Paperwork Design.) Before the reception we snuck over to a local bar and had a beer and a Cabernet and a plate of some of the best chicken wings known. All was going great. We even got a front row parking spot again, which is a rare deal in that part of town. Then off to the reception, which again was beautiful, a killer meal, and again we got a front row spot. We're really thinking we're pretty cool at this point.

I probably should've started this story with a little background. The night before our big night out, we headed to a friend's house for dinner and a little drink. Well, a little drink turned into too much, and so we stayed the night. Very classy I know, but very smart indeed. The next day I rallied and was ready to rock that night. The Husband thought he was ready to roll, but things changed. The headache he thought he evaded came back with a vengeance at about 8:30. We left the reception, me not knowing why, and wondering where the night will take us....maybe the fancy, upscale bar by our house, maybe the sushi bar that we love, but never go anymore because The Boy hates it......heck, I'll take TGIFriday's at this point.

"We're going home," said The Husband. Sigh. He tells me about the headache, and I understand and feel bad for him. I'm a little sad, but we can have a beer or two at home and recap the night's events. Nope. As soon as we walk in the door, he heads upstairs, has his shirt off, and is brushing his teeth by the time I catch up. "Hey, Honey, are you just changing your clothes? Are you coming back down? Or are you going to bed....what..oh...no?" Oh. He just stares at me. So, we're in bed before 10. With no baby.

We spent the morning laying in bed yelling trigger words that we can't say when The Boy is around. You're probably thinking cuss words or the like. But it was more - SHOWER! OUTSIDE! SHOES ON! WATER! CADILLAC! DADDY'S TRUCK! If The Boy hears any of those words, he must have them immediately. It was so freeing. Then we headed out for breakfast at one of our favorite, crowded restaurants that always has a long wait. We got a front row parking spot and they seated us immediately. Great way to end a mellow, but still very fun couple days.

NLJ

PS - Who can tell I'm a little checked out of work?

There Are Other Crazies Out There

This weekend I met a gal (am I from South Dakota or what?) who is also going through a mid-30's life crisis. Well, its not a crisis, but there's just that great need for change. Whatever you want to call it. Anyway, she is packing up and moving her entire life to Atlanta, GA. She's a small town girl from North Dakota, she's also a designer, but she does commercial design. (If you want to make any kind of money in this field, I recommend commercial design, but to me, it just doesn't seem as fun as residential.) She's a pretty, single, thirty-something, and is sick of her job, the weather (who isn't), and sounds like the selection of eligible bachelors around here is a bit lacking. It was nice to talk to her, and get her feed back that what I'm doing is the right thing, and I am in full support and completely understand what she's doing. Sometimes its just nice to hear other people are going through similar situations, and I'm not a complete nut job.

My big house job has slowed, I handed in the official estimate on Friday. We're waiting to hear back and hopefully get a check this week. We still have wallpaper and rugs, but I think the bulk of my hours are about through for this big doggy. I'm looking forward to sending out a few letters to try to drum up some work, but let's be honest...my birthday is Saturday (like you didn't know) and I'm going to be sprucing up around the house a bit, maybe getting some new shoes, probably throw in a mani and a pedi, and just down right preparing for my favorite day of the year.

NLJ

My First Dollar

Remember how people in the olden days would frame their first dollar they made in their business? Well, in today's world we take a photo of the check, block out any pertinent information, and put it on our blog. In the spirit of privacy, all details are blocked out, including the amount, because that's just rude. When asked how much money you make, Daddy always said, "Not enough." Anyway, rest assured, its a real check, written out to my real company for a month's worth of real finger breaking assistantship. I can't believe someone bought this kookie idea.

NLJ

****Updated 2 minutes after posting original - I just chickened out and took the photo off of the internet. Although all was blocked out, I still freaked. Who knows what kind of fancy programs thieves out there have that can read through blocked out areas on photos. All I need is for my new favorite designer to get robbed... right. And then what? Just trust me, I got it, and its beautiful.

Guilt For My Work

So being gone for the weekend was great. No pull to get to the office. We were only gone one night, but I'm feeling slightly refreshed. No too much though, could use some warm weather.

We're still working on the giant house. It seems to not end. Its getting a little boring. The clients keep changing their minds on things and telling us just now "I hate stripes." That would've been nice to know, oh I don't know, 3 months ago! Its getting redundant, but I can't care. The more they change their minds, the more hours I get to bill. I am starting to feel a little guilty about the hours on this project though. This wasn't the way I imagined it to work. I thought I'd come in after final selections were made, and then knock out the estimate. But instead I'm going to client meetings, meetings with vendors, meetings with the designer. I still haven't been paid, I send out my invoice on the first of April. There will be the true test.

NLJ

Getting Old

"Hell, I've always been old Ben. Ya' know what though, I don't mind. I mean if my muscles ache, it's because I've used 'em. It's hard for me to walk up them steps now, 'cuz I walked up 'em every night to lay next to a man who loved me. I got a few wrinkles here and there, but I've layed under thousands of skies with sunny days. I look and feel this way, well, 'cuz I drank and I smoked. I lived and I loved, danced, sang, sweat and screwed my way through a pretty damn good life if you ask me. Getting old ain't bad Ben. Getting old, that's earned."

The Guardian

PS - Thanks Karen.

I Need a Nap

I gotta tell ya, I'm tired. I'm just wiped out. I hate to say that when I know my mom is really the one that's tired and working too much bringing babies into this world. I'm not working that hard or doing things that important, but I'm really tired. I feel like I haven't worked this hard, consistently, for so long. I am at work less hours, but I'm just drained when I get home. I'm wondering if its because I'm so amped, and getting so mentally into this, because it really is my butt on the line. I can't, CANNOT screw anything up. There's no one to fall back on, I want to do a good job even more than ever, and its hard to really be on everyday all day. Its interesting. I'm looking forward to getting away this weekend, and not having the pull to go to the office and do work. Please tell Mr. Blizzard that seems to be on his way here to just stay back for a few more days.

NLJ

Full Circle

So I made special attention not to work this past weekend. I know it doesn't sound that hard, but it really was. OK, I admit I checked my email, and sent a fax or two, but mostly, I did nothing. And guess what? The world didn't end! I can't believe it either. I had work to do, I opted to wait until Monday morning to do it, I got it done before my meeting, and we all survived. I was able to hang out with The Boy all weekend, and to laze around Sunday afternoon with The Dad and watch a movie (my new favorite, Jason Bourne). Balance. That's the name of the game.

Ran into another friend at IMS yesterday who said she just gave my name to someone, and she's just sure that they'll call me. Seems like a lot of people are getting my name out, and it sounds like people are talking about me, but the phone has yet to ring. I did get another job from one of my friends who is a designer. This one is a great story. She used to be my intern at my old job, and when she left us, she just went head on (like she always does), and started her own biz. Now that people, is guts. I couldn't be prouder. She's busy and now really busy, and I'm going to help her out for a change. Everything comes full circle.

I'm heading over to the 20,000 square footer later this morning....I don't even know what to expect. I've never seen anything like this before. Come back for a recap.

NLJ

Eating, Praying, Loving

I finished that book last weekend that I started. Yes, its Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. It really is a great book, and definitely got me thinking on a higher level, and wondering if these things are for me. She spent a third of the book in Italy learning the language and eating and drinking. The next third she spent in India meditating and praying with her Guru at an Ashram. The last third she was in Bali, trying to find the balance between her relationship with God and with still letting herself enjoy the fun in life. In Bali she fell in love, ate great food, drank wine, and continued her meditation and prayers.

So everyone said this book would change my life. I kept reading it, and reading it, and waiting for the big moment. I don't know that it changed my life, but it has left me more aware, and wanting to really reach that personal, inner happiness with myself. I even turned over a corner of a page that had words that hit me:

"...people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't, you will leak away your innate contentment. Its easy to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments."

I consider my self a very happy person both personally and professionally. But there are those issues, we all probably have, that we think about everyday. I hate to think about how much time I've spent worrying, thinking, working against these things, only to fall right back into the same patterns again. There's a reason I keep falling back, and I'm working on figuring it out.

The problem is that now I've started to read a new book, but I think I'll not finish it. Its called Bergdorf Blondes by Plum Sykes. Its about living in New York, and being wealthy and getting you hair colored every thirteen days, and $325 jeans. The polar opposite of the other book, and I'm finding it to be sickening. Does anyone have another book to recommend to get me back on the right path?

NLJ

Big Wheels Keep On Rollin'

What a day! I thought this was supposed to be my day off. I had a meeting with my designer this morning and brought The Boy with because she wanted to meet him, and because I wanted to visit him around to some of the other showrooms. Well, major drama happened before we left, and you can read about that here, if you haven't already. Everything turned out fine and we was the star of the show, per usual.

While in the building I ran into a designer acquaintance of mine, and I call her that because I know I know her, but I CANNOT remember her name for my life, and she knows mine....dang. Anyway, told her what I was doing and she said she needs me. Ran into a furniture rep I know from the early days, who I always have a special place for because he's a sweet old grandpa type, and he just loves me. You know you can tell when someone loves you, yeah, he's just great. Anyway, I told him what I'm doing, he knows someone who needs me and he's going to call them. Then I got home and had an email to do an estimate for another designer friend of mine. Not to mention the big house is still a huge priority, I'm booked all weekend next week now, but I can squeeze in a little something here and there.

The moral of this story is, or really the point of the whole deal, is that things are starting to roll.

NLJ

Book 'Em Dano

I'm booked! I was booked all day yesterday, all day today, and all day next Monday. Sweet. I've been able to hit my goal of averaging 8 hours a week, so far I've blown it out of the water. But I know that when this project is done, its done, and we're back to begging and borrowing and stealing.

I met with the designer yesterday, for this big house project. It was the first time we met since she handed everything off to me. It was such a great meeting. She said she was floored by everything I had done, and how organized it was. Whew. She said it was above and beyond anything she thought. She said it was so nice to be able to be on vacation last week, and actually not think about work and relax. I am so happy that I was able to do that for her. Isn't that the point?

NLJ

The End Of Stomach Aches

I hope you're not like me, but do you ever have that ache in your stomach on Sunday evenings that only comes because you have to go to work on Monday? Seems like every Sunday I deal with this ache, this tinge in the pit of my stomach, but now I remember that I don't have to go into the office tomorrow. What a revelation. And it is a revelation, a shock every time I remember that I started this crazy thing, and I am in charge of it, and I eat what I kill. Then I get this huge rush of relief and I smile. So I think that means I am doing the right thing.

I should clarify that it wasn't that I didn't like my previous job, because I did. But there's something about having to drive the 20 miles into work, then having to be there all day whether I was busy or not, and having to stay there all day. That's the part that really got me. And I'm not trying to be lazy or a slacker, but for example, I don't have that much to do today, (because I worked all weekend - see, I told you I'm not lazy), so I rolled into the office at 9am. No one's mad, no one's disappointed, and I didn't miss anything. Plus, since we lost that hour in the time change yesterday, my body really thinks its 8am. See, I told you I'm not lazy.

NLJ

Made My Day

I've had my head buried in pricing all day. I now have a headache. So, I thought I'd talk to you since I need a break. I'm on that thing the kids call Facebook. I was nervous about joining it, but my cute cousin made me. He put pictures of The Boy on there, so I had to sign up to see them. Anyway, two of my old buds from high school contacted me today. Which is weird for me since I'm not in touch with any one from high school. Don't ask. Anyway, that was my little spot of sunshine for the day. Talking to two of my dear friends from way back when.

NLJ

I (Heart) New York

Well, that was interesting. I had a lunch meeting with that other designer that called last week. The one referred to me from "Tim." (In the mean time, I've discovered his identity, and thanked him profusely.) This designer though, is a designer, a weaver, a glass blower, a set designer, a ceramic artist, a therapist...the list goes on and on. She's done everything from helping with the set design of the CBS Morning Show, to children's high end play houses. Here's the kind of person she is, she was really excited to work with me because I'm an Aries. Now there's part of me that really thinks that's cool. I'm not a freak about it, but I'm a girl that reads her horoscope. I don't really follow it, but if it says something exciting might happen that day, I'll keep an eye out.

She's one of those people that are uber creative, and that have a million ideas floating around in there head. It was more a meeting of the minds, than her hiring me to do anything in particular. She's worked with some of the most famous designers there are, so that gives her amazing credibility along with the Parsons schooling. Right now she's into helping start up businesses, like showrooms or furniture stores. Neither of us were completely sure on what we could do for each other, but we're going to work on it. I think she'll come up with something. She really cracked me up. I haven't met anyone like her before. I told her I've been to LA, San Fran, and Chicago's design centers, but alas never to New York, but, I said, I'll get there. She said, "I'll getchya there." So, hey, I'm going to New York.

NLJ

I Need a Bigger Bag

I'm dying and drowning in a huge pile of work. Please, please don't let the phone ring today. I'm too busy and if someone calls I have to turn them down. I know. I'm serious. I met with my designer on Saturday afternoon, and she sent me home with a huge BIN of work, and three floors of the home that need to be drafted. I brought a cute little messenger bag that I thought would be fabulous to hold the files I'd be taking home from her office. We both laughed in my face. The thing is, this is about half of the house. There's still the other half we didn't even touch on, but will be tackling that in about two weeks. I couldn't be more excited.


The meeting went great, and it was fun to be back in the mix. She was bouncing ideas off me and asking if I had any ideas for some things. It feels good to be useful again. Not to mention, I made as much money in that afternoon meeting, that I would have made in a whole days work at my former job. Now that, that my friend, is something.

NLJ

Anyone Need a New Toaster

I understand that everyone else out there who is working is very busy, and I'm sure they're meaning to call me, and I understand all of that. But when I say I'll wait for your call, I mean, literally. I am sitting here, waiting for your call. My phone does not leave my side. Only when I'm in the shower, I guess.

Well, its paid off. Yesterday, while sitting and waiting, my designer called and we're meeting tomorrow to go over the project so I can work on it next week. I know, you say, "Nicki, tomorrow is Saturday. You do not work on Saturdays." Well what the hell do I care? I'll meet her at 3 am in some dark alley in North Minneapolis at this point. Besides, she's leaving town Sunday and don't I just look like the most accommodating little peach to her?

Then it paid off again. I got ANOTHER call today, from ANOTHER designer previously unknown to me. She was referred to me from "Tim," and he's told her all about me. All of that is well and good, except I don't know anyone in the industry named "Tim." So "Tim" if you're out there, I owe ya one! Anyway, she seems nice, a little crazy, hopefully in a good way. She studied design at the Parsons New School For Design, which is very prestigious. I didn't even know there were prestigious design schools until I was done with my school. I actually learned more about the field working in it, than in all of the classes I took. But seems to be that's the way it usually goes. So yeah, we're having lunch next week to swap stories and see what we can do for each other. She also calls herself a product designer. The first thing I think of there is toasters, but who couldn't always use a better toaster?

NLJ

Guidance In Balance

Started reading a book today. OK, get off the floor....all of you that just fell off your chairs after reading that first sentence. I did start a book today, and no, I'm not on vacation at a beach sitting by the ocean. Which typically is the only time I ever read. I managed to get a few chapters in between The Boy watching Barney, and then losing interest, and then wanting my attention, and then losing interest because Caillou is on TV.

I already learned a more about Italy and the Italian language than I did all through school. Not bad for a couple chapters huh? The book was a gift from my sister-in-law, hugely recommended, but mostly just sitting in my nightstand drawers waiting for the right time or next vacation. Remembering how much she loved it, and me needing something going on in my life right now, I started reading. From what I gather its about a woman who is trying to balance life, love, and God. Wow, deep. Really deep for me. Typically I'm not interested in much unless Will Farrell had something to do with it. But, I'm in need of guidance in balance. So, I'm entering it with an open mind and hoping it will be mind opening.

NLJ

Important Business

I'm a very important business person and I have very important business to discuss with very important business people today. (To be said in your best business person voice.) OK, I'm meeting with the accountant this afternoon, and its for our personal finances. I'm just excited its business, and its important, and he wants me there to discuss it. I may try to sneak in few "business" questions while I'm there. Like, what if I make money? Then what? You know, those kinds of hard hitting business questions.

NLJ

ND BONUS - Drinking game: Do a shot everytime you read the word business.

I'm Wearing My Santana Jersey

Not that its a competition, but isn't everything? As I wait around for the phone to ring, my super fantastic salesman of a husband's phone is ringing like mad. I kid you not when he received five leads yesterday. He dropped off some business cards at a realtor friend of ours' office earlier that day. Bang! The phone's going crazy. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly impressed and very proud. Plus, someone needs to be bringing in the bacon around here. Along with the fact that I can't compare my company with a company that has been in business for 8 years. But once this thing starts rolling, I'm going to kick his butt in our inter-office competitions. And I can't wait until tomorrow, it's "Wear Your Favorite Team Jersey Day" in our office.

I did get in contact with that designer yesterday and she needs me, but not for a couple weeks. So yay, but sigh. I think I'll take your guys' advice, enjoy the down time, and head to the liquor store. I'm only half kidding.

NLJ

Thumb Twiddling

I like to think this is just the calm before the storm. Right? I have to think that, so I can get through these beginnings. It was hard to get up, take a shower, do my hair and make up today. I have no appointments, so why do I need to go to all the trouble? Because what if the phone rings and someone needs me STAT. Because design emergencies are real. I was thinking, do I really need to waste that squirt of perfume today? No one is going to see me or smell me anyway. Can't I just wear sweats? No! I'm really trying to get into a routine, even though I don't have a schedule yet. Its hard, maybe harder than the actual job.

Its such a challenge to come up with a purpose in my day right now. Even though I am at home, I think its important that I don't spend it cleaning or doing laundry or whatever. Once the work does start coming in, I don't need the additional pressure of keeping house. I noticed that even when I went part-time, I feel/felt enormous pressure to have the house cleaned, laundry done, errands ran, and dinner on the table by the end of the day. When the real reason for cutting back at work was to spend time with the boy. Sometimes I have to just say screw it, and we live in messy squaller for a weekend, but we end up having so much fun. Who cares.

I'm supposed to have another appointment with another designer this week. I'm just waiting for her to get in touch with me to set it up. She was out of town last week, but said she'd get a hold of me this week. Hello? Where are you? I'm here. Waiting. You know what? I'm going to give her a call. Look at me! I'm such a go getter!

NLJ

I Need To Get Paid

Does anyone know how to run Quickbooks? If you do, I suspect you also know how to read Chinese. Honestly, the only thing I understood while setting it up was how to enter my company name and address. The rest was Chinese. I'd forget about the whole thing, but most of the designers I'll be working with use this program, so I need to know it. I don't consider myself computer stupid, and everything says this program is so easy, and its the most popular program out there. Well, I just imagine people that are self employed don't really find this so easy to use. Unless they are accountants, but people like me and my husband find it annoying, frustrating, and really a waste of time. I've spent two days on it, and still haven't gotten any farther than entering my name and address. I wish I was kidding.

NLJ

I Got a JOB

Turns out she likes me. Yes! Let's all just take a collective, deep, cleansing breath. One job down, not sure how many more to go. The meeting actually went really well. Sounds like I can make her life easier, and she can make my life a little more fulfulled.

One of the many benefits of being your own boss, is that fact that I can wear what I want to wear. And we at Paperwork Design, do not wear dress pants. Those days of ugly, ill fitting, bad fabric dress pants are gone. So I went to Anne Taylor Loft the other day and bought a new, preppy outfit to wear to this interview. This is going to be the new signature look of PD. I bought a pair of very dark, stylish blue jeans. Yes jeans. This is what we wear at PD. Nothing worn looking, nothing with holes, but nice, bootcut, dark, denim jeans. With stretch. Along with a classic, button down, white oxford shirt, and a kelly green sweater. Topped off with leopard print heels and a spray of Coco Chanel perfume, and there you have it. Its preppy and very tailored looking. This gives off the idea that you're organized and smart, but also have a slight edge and not overly trendy. I knew it was right when I took off my coat and she said that she loved the green, and it was her favorite color.

I'm really excited about working with the designer I met today. She seems to be a smart, interesting, and classy woman. It sounds like she has enough money that she doesn't need to work, but she said she still does because she loves it and because she's good at it. She doesn't work a lot, maybe 1 or 2 clients at a time, only because she can. She made one thing very clear to me also. The one thing that is her highest priority, is her privacy. She's been in the biz for 25+ years, and hardly anyone knows who she is, and that's the way she wants it. She has no desire to get published or be on the front page any design magazine. She feels she owes that to her clients, who trust her enough to come into their homes. She feels it belittles them, and disrespects them to talk about this job with that budget. I was told that if I'm asked what she's working on or who her client is or anything about her business, I am to say that I don't know anything. I found this to be very cool and very interesting. Designers, by nature, love to talk and to talk about they're work and what they're doing and who they're working for. Especially if its a big name, local celeb. Well, I still don't know who this client is that I'll be working for, but they have a 20,000 square foot home. And in 11 years, I've never worked on a house of that scale. Whoa. She must be doing something right.

NLJ

Channelling Sally Fields

No calls. No emails. Its ok. They're probably intimidated by my cute stationary. Or maybe they just assume that I'm already swamped. They're probably thinking, "What would be the point of calling the most efficient, organized, and fabulous assistant in the biz? She's probably so busy she wouldn't have time for me anyway."

In the mean time, let's take a look at my cute office. OK, I share a corner of the office with my husband, but I'll soon be taking over. Oh yes. And how sweet is my bro and his lovely new bride? Check out this great bouquet they sent me on my first day. Sugars.

Tomorrow things are looking up. I have an interview with a designer. I real live designer. We were supposed to meet yesterday actually, but she had to reschedule. Anyway, she has a big job she wants ordered in April, and she needs me to get the estimate put together. I'm not saying I have the job, its really an interview to see if she likes me. I hope she likes me. I hope she really, really likes me.

NLJ

Can You Say Franchise?

I spent the half the day sending out letters to prospective clients. Designers that are mostly one man shows, who somehow or another I've heard they could maybe use my services. I sent out 14 letters, and one to an office with 3 or 4 designers who work there. You just have to throw stuff against the wall and hope it sticks.

Being a self employed person looking for work, I then headed out to International Market Square to a.) have lunch with a dear friend/potential client, and b.) walk around the mart to whore myself out to anyone who would listen. I stopped in the showrooms that I've known forever, and have developed relationships with in the past years. I went in explaining what my business is about and asked them to keep a few of my cards on hand to pass out in case they hear of anyone that needs help. Everyone was more than happy to do this and were more than encouraging.

Here's what I heard: "Its a dream come true." "Do you know how many jobs I've turned down because I didn't have time to do the paperwork?" "I'm usually up until midnight working on my invoicing." "This is such a great idea." "You are going to be so busy, you're going to need to hire help."

Now don't get me wrong. There will be no counting chickens before they're hatched. But, the whole experience was so positive and encouraging, not to mention exhausting. Its completely wiped me out. So, let's see if the phones start ringing tomorrow. Once the phone is ringing and the "you've got mail" ding on my computer is worn out, then, and only then, will I franchise out.

NLJ

Open For Business

Today I am starting my own business. Its called Paperwork Design LLC. You may think I design greeting cards or stationary. But I don't. I am an assisant for hire to interior designers. I've been doing this for 11 years, got a crazy hair up my behind, and decided to contract myself out instead of working for "the man." I hope to keep a record of my down falls in order to not make the same mistakes. I will also record my success, if any, just because I like to pat myself on the back now and then.

I want to tell everyone, that if they too decide to quit a perfectly good paying job, there are steps that need to be followed. You MUST, first and foremost, go to the state department and have your business name registered. Even if you "think" you know you're name is available and you "think" it'll be OK just to mail the forms in with no problems. DON'T. The name Paperwork seemed to be available, but wasn't. I already got my tax ID number with the name Paperwork before I "officially" owned this word. Turns out "Paperworks" was already taken, so I couldn't have "Paperwork." This leads to a lot more paperwork to fill out both state and federal to make the changes. It also leads to changing the email address and webpage you already bought with the wrong name. Oh, and it leads to changing your company name on the spot without having time to really think about it - thus Paperwork Design. And last but not least it leads to a major melt down directed at your spouse that is largely uncalled for.

NLJ