Thumb Twiddling

I like to think this is just the calm before the storm. Right? I have to think that, so I can get through these beginnings. It was hard to get up, take a shower, do my hair and make up today. I have no appointments, so why do I need to go to all the trouble? Because what if the phone rings and someone needs me STAT. Because design emergencies are real. I was thinking, do I really need to waste that squirt of perfume today? No one is going to see me or smell me anyway. Can't I just wear sweats? No! I'm really trying to get into a routine, even though I don't have a schedule yet. Its hard, maybe harder than the actual job.

Its such a challenge to come up with a purpose in my day right now. Even though I am at home, I think its important that I don't spend it cleaning or doing laundry or whatever. Once the work does start coming in, I don't need the additional pressure of keeping house. I noticed that even when I went part-time, I feel/felt enormous pressure to have the house cleaned, laundry done, errands ran, and dinner on the table by the end of the day. When the real reason for cutting back at work was to spend time with the boy. Sometimes I have to just say screw it, and we live in messy squaller for a weekend, but we end up having so much fun. Who cares.

I'm supposed to have another appointment with another designer this week. I'm just waiting for her to get in touch with me to set it up. She was out of town last week, but said she'd get a hold of me this week. Hello? Where are you? I'm here. Waiting. You know what? I'm going to give her a call. Look at me! I'm such a go getter!

NLJ